No one can tell you exactly the right steps scientifically how to heal or get better, all they can do is guide you. Ultimately, it is up to us to choose how we heal. Everyone is different. Sometimes, it only takes days, while others (like me), takes longer than a year. Crazy right? I sound crazy. I feel crazy. But it’s just that, I don’t deny my feelings and pretend it doesn’t exist because I know it will only build up to a bigger problem. Yes, I think too much and even sometimes let it ruin my day, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have good days. I guess what I’m trying to say is that people move in different speed. Whether if it takes me another year to fully heal, eventually, this feeling will pass and one day, I’ll wake up realizing how crazy I was to even sink that low and let myself fall in it. But I believe the process of healing oneself is the most empowering. I’ve learn things about myself I’ve never knew about. I’ve gotten so much stronger mentally and emotionally; maybe a bit bitter in the sense of relationships, but I’ve never lost hope in myself. Yes, my perception has changed, but it keeps me guarded and safe within my own protection. This big wall I’ve created isn’t so bad and maybe it’ll hurt me in the long run, but this is my way of healing, and sometimes what I think is right might not be the right thing to do, but as of right now, I think I’m handling myself as gentle as possible to not hurt myself in any way.

So yeah…That’s that.